A Different Perspective During a Suicidal Crisis

After a relationship breakdown and separation from his children, one man arrived in counselling feeling trapped by a single devastating version of what came next. The work began by widening the field of possible choices.

By David Chittenden

If you need immediate support

You do not have to manage a crisis alone.

If you are experiencing suicidal or self-harm thoughts, feel you may be in immediate danger, or are concerned about someone else’s immediate safety, please seek urgent support.

If there is immediate danger, call Triple Zero (000) or go to your nearest emergency department.

Lifeline Australia

13 11 14

24-hour crisis support

Suicide Call Back Service

1300 659 467

24-hour telephone and online counselling support

Shifting Lives is not an emergency or crisis service. Counselling with David should not be used as a substitute for emergency, crisis or appropriate medical care.

About this case study

This case study has been presented to illustrate themes that may arise in counselling. Identifying details may have been removed or generalised to protect privacy. Individual experiences vary, and the outcomes described should not be understood as a guarantee of what another person may experience.

Content note: This case study discusses suicidal thoughts and a specific suicide plan. It is not crisis guidance. If someone is in immediate danger or may act on suicidal thoughts, urgent emergency or crisis support should be sought in their location.

The historical Shifting Lives case described a man, referred to here as Hank, whose former partner had left approximately six months earlier. He was struggling with persistent suicidal thoughts and felt deeply affected by being unable to see his children.

The account states that Hank had developed a specific plan to die by suicide in a way that would ensure his former partner found him. His distress had become organised around the belief that he had very little control left.

Starting with the meaning behind the plan

The counselling conversation did not begin by treating the plan as an abstract idea. David asked Hank to consider the meaning he was giving to it and, in particular, how much control he believed his former partner held over the rest of his life.

One confronting question in the original account was why Hank would want the final outcome of his life to be determined by the person he felt had already taken so much from him.

From one outcome to more than one option

Once Hank began to examine what suicide represented to him, the conversation widened toward alternatives. The issue was no longer only “How do I stop this pain?” but also “What choices still exist that I have not explored?”

The original case says Hank began thinking about practical options relating to his children and decided to speak with a lawyer about seeking shared custody.

Why perspective mattered

This did not make the relationship loss disappear. It did not erase the pain or guarantee the legal outcome Hank wanted.

What changed in the account was the way he understood his position. A situation he had experienced as completely closed began to contain possible next actions. That shift in perspective created a different direction for his attention.

Reflection

When someone is overwhelmed, the future can narrow until only one outcome feels visible. In a crisis, safety and appropriate professional support come first.

This case is useful not because a single question can “stop suicide”, but because it illustrates how examining the meaning attached to a situation may sometimes reveal choices that were difficult to see while distress was at its most intense.

About this case study: Names and identifying details have been minimised for privacy. This historical case is shared for educational reflection and does not replace emergency, crisis, medical or legal support. Individual experiences and outcomes vary.